Ladies By Design

Be Still

Oh, day of rest, 

How beautiful, how fair!

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Today I long for green- cucumbers and spinach leaves to feed the body, and  slender blades of grass to feed my soul. Oh, to lay in a clover green meadow and breathe in the breeze, the sky, the voice quietly whispering my name. 

What is stopping me? The urge is strong, yet I work, still. I push through to gain a prize whose name I do not know. The whisper beckons me out into mid- morning. Persistently. I stop working and take off shoes and socks, stepping onto  the grassy slope behind our home. 

The ground is cool, as I knew it would be; verdant, and pliable, warming to my touch. I lean back, relaxing, supported by soft spikes. I feel the breeze and hear a gentle song lilt from the shadow of wings. Pages flap and I wonder:  Why is it so hard to be still?

I stay, cloaked in green, while my eyes adjust to the light. In the distance, cars hum, people rushing through busy lives- and still I wonder. When did I forget to let in that which feeds my soul? 

I've been separated from the peace of this place by the whirl of life. While trying to catch my breath, I forgot what it is to breathe deep. 

Sleepless nights and sick kids may deplete the body, but it is this busy-ness that steals true rest. Now, the habit of getting out into creation takes determination and self discipline. So I sit, and I breathe, and I rest.

 A lady bug glides across wildflowers that sprung up in my absence. Clouds silently swirl across a pure blue expanse. They know how to be silent, to keep pace with time peacefully, without hurry. 

When I've been rubbed raw by life's sanding, I realize I am still learning to rest in the One who sustains and holds, comforting me through rough patches. It is equally important to draw apart when days are filled with activity and the good work of life. To make a habit of being filled with living water before I am run dry with thirst.

I now recognize soul-thirst, and so I stay, drinking in the wildness that has swept down this hill. Luxuriating in birdsong and inviting the breeze to dance on my cheeks, twirling my hair, drawing me into radiant goodness. Dandelions sway, fuzzy tops nodding in agreement to be silent before the Creative One.  I drink deep of  beauty and peace until I am satiated with healing wind and soothing grasses.

Grace floods my soul, simply because I obeyed that still quiet voice that beckoned me to the place of wellness.  I am refreshed, washed in gratitude. In awe of the One who crafted greens and blues and softness and joy which restores my soul. This is healing in it's simplest form.

 

 

The Nourished Life

In my life, there always seems to be someone who needs something. And with all the medical issues I deal with, sometimes I feel as if I carry everything alone. Self-care is necessary for survival, as is making a habit of refueling body and soul. Sometimes this means time out with friends to relax and unwind, and sometimes it requires making arrangements to have times of quiet. Rest is mandatory. Nourishment, essential. We take better care of those we love when we take care of ourselves, too.

 

I have to cultivate the habit of stepping away to see that my needs are met. It may seem daunting, but it's necessary. Sometimes I feel isolated, or believe there are no resources. But the truth is there is a way to self care- if I am willing to commit to it, to work towards it. Wellness takes work. It takes planning ahead- and sometimes, a willingness to step into the unknown. To put my needs out there and ask for help. It's risky, and sometimes I don’t want to ask. But the benefits are worth the risk. 

 

Sometimes it's an issue of “want to”. What keeps me from drawing aside, what do I gain from over-working? Does it help me forget? Does it make me feel better about everything that seems wrong in my life?

 

Everything I commit to fills a need in me. The need to be a good wife and mother. The need to feel valued, like my work matters. Do I deny my needs because I have to be a martyr to feel acceptable? Do I believe that I do not have the right to take care of me, too?

 

It’s time to give permission to have needs. To take care of me- in a healthy way. Chocolate cake may taste good for a moment, but it won’t heal the gash in my soul, nor will it placate the troubles in my heart.

 

Exercise, movement, is healing. I walk and pour out, and sometimes I want to run. I don’t do it well (or for very long), but I need the physical reminder of what I am carrying emotionally. I run, a block, maybe two, and at the bottom of the hill my chest heaves and I sputter and breathe jagged breaths and it feels like my life. I have to train for the long haul and I have to rest before I am spent. 

 

Jesus said to serve others, just as He did. And He served with His whole heart- but he also set the example of drawing apart regularly and seeking rest. If we want be like Jesus, we have to balance pouring out and finding rest.

 

Isaiah 55:2 says:

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

The Message puts it this way: “Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words. I’m making a lasting covenant with you, the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.”

 

We have to make time to let God’s love wash over us, healing, restoring, giving rest in spirit, soul, and body. Don’t take this for granted. We need fuel not filler. We need to pursue that which nourishes, that which truly fills. We can chase after what leaves us empty, running on fumes- or we can plan time to rest and recover. Self control is not only self denial.  Self control is seeking that which gives lasting nourishment- in spirit, soul and body. It’s making time to find daily abundance in the heart of God.

 

 

When More Becomes Too Much

My little man knows how to sign the word "more" and he certainly wants more. More cookies. More songs. More balls. He's a little learner, like his mama, and he can't get enough of this life. I loved watching his little wheels turning until he figured out how to slurp the last bit of cereal from his bowl. This week he was delighted to realize he could reach higher by standing on his tippy-toes and his little feet are dancing faster by the day.

Reaching higher and moving faster delights me as well. I love to excel. I prefer to be efficient. I want to squeeze as much as I can out of this life. But, like my son, all too often I reach beyond my limits and I am reduced to tears when more becomes too much.

By chance, perhaps by design, I found myself in the book of Ecclesiastes this weekend. It's a must read for visionary dreamers and serious strategists. We tend to over-think and outpace ourselves. There is always more to do, more to read, and more to want. But, Scripture reminds us that "all vanishes like a vapor; everything is a great vanity."

That puts a damper on my never-ending need for more. It all comes down to self-control. Learning, experiencing, and discovering are all good things—in moderation. But, when you haven't been living the moderate life, where do you start?

Naturally, I started with a Google search. Sure, I found great time-management advice and organization tips. But, the more I searched, the more it all became too much. The writer of Ecclesiastes felt the same way.

In the end, the best way to develop self-control is through prayer. At least, this is my theory as based on Galatians 5:22-23. After all, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. This fruit is grown by God, and for His glory. He is more invested in my growth than I am—just like I am more invested in my son's well-being than he is.

We are all God's children. And we all struggle when more becomes too much. But, because we belong to Him, we begin by resting in Him. In His wisdom, care, and authority. In the coming weeks, I will be praying for the fruits of the Holy Spirit to be grown in me and specifically for self-control. Two of my best girlfriends, Jo and Bekah, have taken the challenge as well. I'm excited about what the Lord will reveal as we surrender together. After all: "As the saying goes, "A rope made of three strands is not quickly broken." You are welcome to join us! 

The Goal Set Before Us

 When life presses down on me until I feel my heart buckle, I've learned to get outside and walk. Behind our neighborhood is an undeveloped area, and I love to position myself where I have a clear view of the trees and the hills beyond. I walk quickly, reciting Psalm 121:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

Sometimes I speak the refrain over and over, until I can truly take a deep, lingering breath.

The many responsibilities I carry and the frailties of my gaping humanness can convince me to see life as a mountain I must climb, with towering obstacles to overcome along the way. The challenges are daunting, discouraging, and heartbreaking. And my mindset has been this: once I've reached the top, I will have figured out how to "get it right". But the goal is NOT reaching the top of the mountain- for that will happen when I see Jesus face to face. If I re-frame my thinking to embrace climbing the mountain in moment by moment closeness with God- taking the journey in and through him, then I will understand the true purpose of the mountain I call life; to know Him, to let Him draw me deeper still. Part of the journey is learning when to walk with him, and when to let him carry me, for there are steep inclines which this mortal frame was never meant to struggle upon. The key is to let Him do the work, for there are some places that are for His hands and feet only. Aloneness is a choice, and when I choose instead to rest in him completely, rather than holding him at arm's length-- it's in those times when I experience the gift of his presence, his arms gathering me up, sustaining me, giving me rest, healing the wounds in my heart, preparing me for the continuation of the journey. The mountain top is not the goal. Rather, I fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith- whose joy is day to day relationship with me. He is the goal, his presence the greatest summit of all.   

Shadows or Light?

I lay still, blinking out light. Lenses focus on the fan, blowing shadows across the ceiling. But wait. As slumber recedes I find the gift. If I watch purposely, I see not shadows, but prisms of light. Perspective shifts as I reframe the gutteral response to the coming of day. My life too, holds this promise. I must seek new meaning, letting go of the language of death and learning the tongue of life.  Words are powerful; what I tell myself shapes how I interpret what is real. This is not merely determining whether the glass is half full or half empty. I must shake off emotional slumber, retrain my critical eye to grasp new understandings. Will I choose to focus the lens of my life on loss or on gifts? As I seek healing I understand that now is the time to lay down disappointment, ways I feel wronged. It's time to determine to see the good. I need not look far, for there is much goodness to behold. For every shortcoming surrendered there is life and goodnes to be found in abundance. 

Determination is the key. If I determine to reframe, to focus now on the good, new life will well up within me. It's time to push past the old tapes that play in my head, and turn away from negativity. It's imperative to turn a deaf ear to the enemy of my soul. As I seek to stamp out the old way, he whispers only lies from before. New eyes will seek truth, focus on moving forward, not wallowing in woundedness. What has shriveled in me can grow anew-when I invite grace to rain down. Hope and healing are found in the well watered place, but to see, I must watch for the light. No excuses. Do I want to walk in truth? 

Learning the lifestyle of gratitude requires practice-- a conscious decision to focus not on shadows, but on light. It's not yet second nature, but it can be, through time and determination. And then,then my life holds promise, transformation of mind and heart begun through gratefulness. It's time to move out of the shadows and embrace the prism of Light.

~Bekah

A Time for Everything

I wake to the morning light, feeling as if I am under a weighted cloud. I’ve walked this road long enough to know that what haunts me is not clinical depression. No, there are other diagnoses that name the heaviness in my heart, and I realize that this is very much a place of grieving. My son is no longer growing, and I am afraid. Diabetes is a complicating factor; the treatment is as difficult as the condition. The load I bear increases, and PTSD often keeps my husband huddled in a place I cannot reach. I am lonely, weary of this life of consistent medical deluge. I want to stay in bed, snuggled under soft sheets, blanketed by fear and grief. I push through. Past anger to the sadness. Sometimes life is very, very hard. This is where I am, a place where medical terms crash into real life. I want to learn to live thanksgiving in the midst of the storm.

New life is manifested through conscious commitments to create a new pattern. My journey will involve healthy grieving paired with the giving of thanks. I tug against the process. I do not like how I feel while doing the work. I dread fleshing out what our culture often sees as weakness. Yet, there's another tugging at my heart and I know the truth. I will not heal if I do not grieve.

I remember a story I've known since childhood, from the book of John. Jesus escapes arrest only to have word come, "The one you love so very much is sick." I know this story well. "...oddly he stays where he is for two more days." (MSG) The God-man chooses to stay, so belief within those who follow him can grow. Four days past death Jesus arrives in Bethany. He knows his mission; to raise the dead. Yet he sees the flow of grief, and steps in. Anger and sadness wash over him, marks of the cycle. The Son of Man chose to grieve. Why was there a need to weep when He knew that God had given him authority to raise the dead? To set the standard for healthy grieving.

Our culture often sees strength as resisting tears, yet Jesus' power was shown through them. He continued to allow the cycle of grief as he approached the tomb, instructing, "Roll away the stone." Sisters protested the stench, but Jesus stood firm. "Didn't I tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" The stone was removed, and standing before the tomb, Jesus gave thanks. "Father I'm grateful that you have listened to me. I know you always do listen." Even in death and loss Jesus found gratitude. An then, in the wake of decay, Jesus called forth new life. On a word and a prayer and a grateful heart, a miracle was borne. 

 Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." New life comes as I learn to balance grief with gratitude. There is a time to stand at the tomb and work through the loss, and there is a time to be grateful for what been given. Healing and gratitude are entwined with the rememberance that we are never alone. There is One who listens, and One who knows, for He chose to walk through grief to new life-- and more than once. Remember, the tomb is empty!!

~Bekah

 

 

Finding Freedom

I have only just begun this journey towards a lifestyle of Thanksgiving, starting to feel the rhythm of this God awareness in all I see, all I do, and those I hold dear. And then, a day like this... a window slammed shut, not on fingers, but on my heart. Today is a day that no matter how hard I try, I cannot forget the losses and challenges that define the life of a family of four with six diagnoses between us. (Yes, there are now two more.) Diabetes bellows and PTSD hammers at my soul, and I snap. Five years of stress and struggle and spiritual warfare pour out of my mouth, long hidden anger reaches a crescendo.

In One Thousand Gifts, Ann speaks of salvation from angry, bitter, and resentful lives. And this I have learned over time: Anger is a natural cue that something wrong has happened. It's a God given alert to something that needs to be dealt with. Women are taught that anger detracts from loveliness, and when it is repressed until we explode, or carried as a satchel, it does. But the first stirrings, the recognition that harm has been done, that is akin to what Jesus felt when he defended the oppressed and chased the money changers out of God's holy temple. Where we get into trouble is when we hold on to our anger, trying to use it as power over those who've hurt us. Scarring deepens as we chew on anger, turning it over and over in our minds and hearts until that bitter taste has permeated our souls. Bitterness can turn us into resentful, poisonous, death walkers.

What is the cure for this diseased cycle? I know- I remember this lesson, the first learning which began with giving thanks, my own heart cry to him:

I give thanks to You, Jesus, that you chose to hold the nails, to bear my mark, my shame, my loss. You took the weight of my own sin, my every imperfection, and you stayed. You tarried in the place of anguish- so I could have release.

And the refrain that follows, rejoicing, choosing, echoes hope; "Because you forgive me still, I choose to extend that same forgiveness to one who hurt me."

This forgiveness is not an excusing of the offense, such as "He could not help it"... Nor is it pretending I am not angry at the wounding. For I am. And I have good reason. Yet what frees me, what leads me to "Sozo"--salvation, and wholeness-- what looses my shackles is admitting where I am, what I feel, what I judged, and why. And the choice is mine- to be like Jesus or to be like those who crucified him: angry, sullen, sin-sick and clenching hatefulness.

I name this gift aloud, the gift of Jesus... Even on the cross he forgave his tormentors. Not after He rose again, but from the midst of his greatest torment. I am washed in awe at human flesh mangled into a bloody mess, yet crying out, "Father, Forgive them, for they know not what they do!"

This "Sozo" salvation begins with gratitude for what Jesus bore for me. The next step is forgiveness. Faith without forgiveness leaves us still shackled to the oppressor. Not one of us deserves forgiveness. It is a gift. It's been offered. We can choose to do the work to break the chains.

Healing, which I know I still need in hidden places, is worth the work. A ball like tangled string may be buried deep, but my Healer tenderly unearths each strand, unwinding what has knotted my soul. Soothing, covering, restoring. Healing hands are firm, but gentle, rebuilding what was broken, breathing newness and life. Setting the order, the how and the why and the when. Asking me to bend and not remain frozen.

I speak my choice, "I submit to the removing", I pray out each offense, each wound, as He leads. And I choose to walk free.

~Bekah

A Cord of Three Strands

The first year is always the most difficult. With any diagnosis, learning a new lifestyle is challenging. There is no normal. Perhaps there never was. I listen to the rain falling outside my window and I wonder at the instruments chosen to teach me a new song. Diabetes, PTSD, Celiac Disease, and Sensory Processing Disorder. A cord of three strands is not easily broken, but a cord of four may break me. It has, in a thousand heart rending, soul restoring ways. The first two were traumatic, the third educational. The last taught me to reframe life as I know it.

That moment, when the word came, all I felt was relief. Surging, trembling relief. This is the why. So many unanswered wonderings, suddenly step into line. My life frame shifts off sinking sand, and I find my Rock ever there. Always. No matter what. The journey through grief is cyclical. It must be for life ever changes the shape of the journey ahead. The path to the altar is well worn.The breath of release pours out. I held my breath for so long, and find I must practice finding breath again. I inhale deeply, in, and slowly out.

And now begins a season of stretching and learning. Expanding my knowledge base, learning how to care better for the ones I love. To fit together each strand in a way that makes sense for me. Again, and again. Often I miss the mark, and look back, with clearer focus than I had in the moment. Some days I cope, others I soar. I've learned to take care of my needs, too, so I can take better care of those I love. I used to be the one that many came to for support. Now I need to draw back and receive. And the Lover of my soul gives abundance, pouring cleansing rain through me. Each day offers a new beginning, a chance to be infused with life and choose well. I choose. I choose to be Wife and Mommy to a passel of specially wrapped gifts. And to refine my own identity along the way. I am more than what I do.

The rain has stopped, the world washed with healing. I too can be whole, if I choose to partake. Will I resist the cleansing? Or step forward, again and again- though unknowns lay before me. If I stay I will stagnate. I can see the step ahead, and I choose to trust in the One who restores, who holds me through the darkness and lights the way. A candle in the darkness, ready to be lit- to move the blaze with each step, illumininate - if I choose to grow. To respond to the invitation and step out, giving thanks for the glow, and the hope held beyond.

~Bekah

New Beginnings - Part 2

I am beginning to come in touch with a greater need for Christ. If the fast has accomplished anything, it has been becoming aware of my hunger for the Lord, a desire for Him to penetrate into the deepest recesses of my heart and soul. There has been an awakening of a passionate love for Him that I have not known for many seasons of my life. Roger put it well yesterday when told his endorser that in the last couple months he has seen my joy return. I have stepped out of the mourning garments and put on a garment of praise.

Now, do not let this lead you to believe that the fast has been easy, by any means. It has taken a great deal of work to push through exhaustion due partly to the many responsibilities I carry within our family, and partly because I am staying up late to go to prayer at church several nights a week, and getting up hours earlier than normal to pray and seek Him, when He wakes me before the alarm goes off.
 
Over the years, rest has been a very important tool in sustaining me through the many challenges of caring for a family with so many needs. And when the Lord wakes me long before dawn to get up and seek Him, do not think for a moment that my eyes pop open without any lingering drowsiness. I have to fight off lethargy, shake out of the bleariness of soul and body. I do not want to get up. It is cold, and the blankets are warm. I am tired and the bed is soft. Yet, I have sensed that it is very important be obedient so that I can be drawn deeper into Him. So I get up and propel myself into my prayer closet (which is more of a bathroom.) On the floor, kneeling before the space heater, draped in a Snuggie, the Lord and I meet.
 
I am finding that faithfulness is a choice. It does not happen by chance. I have been stretched; this choosing has not "come naturally". It has taken a great deal of effort to concentrate on keeping the commitment, especially when I have little energy left. Sometimes I have to grit my teeth and push myself to step into Him. I am finding that as I shake off the slumber, even when I am dead tired, my soul is alive in Him. I am learning to make a conscious effort step away from the things that He is calling me out of, and instead make the choice to advance into Him. To go deeper still.

 

New Beginnings

The past few weeks I have been getting holiday greetings via e-mail, snail-mail, text messages, Facebook, and Twitter. I am still opening letters and cards sent by friends from my college days and am being newly "friended" by people I haven't seen in years. I even got to reconnect with one of my good friends from my  High School youth group just a week ago, over Mexican food and birthday cake!

On the heels of Christmas cards bearing "Tidings of Comfort and Joy"  came New Years cards wishing me many blessings in the year to come. It is officially 2010. I am wondering, how are you entering the new year? Are you dragging in, yawning, and  wishing you were still in your PJ's? Are you charging ahead full speed, ready to conquer your corner of the world? Are you taking it slow, wrapped in a blanket, sipping coffee (or tea) by a crackling fire?

Last night over bedtime snack, my family discussed New Year's Resolutions. Tyler's resolution was to play the Wii more and have more family time. Blaine resolved to pet Mocha Kitty more. The boys agreed that our furry companion would certainly resolve to eat more vanilla ice cream.  My husband then joked that his resolution was "To get more beef jerky"-- i.e. to tickle the boys more. This left them screaming with delight. And as my husband chased our boys around the room, I began to ponder my own resolutions. Some of which have to do with returning to healthier over-all food choices for myself and our family, after a bit of a slide, which was a natural result of the holiday busyness. It was not so much an issue of gorging on yummy treats as much as it was a lessening of our intake of food with actual nutritional value.  So this week I am planning some healthier meals with more fresh fruits and veggies. And I will personally be eating a lot of oatmeal. (Old fashioned oats, rather than instant!) A little extra time, and a little extra planning can equal a lot more nourishment.

Another resolution is to get the house organized. I am a bit of a neat freak and I like everything to have a place, even if it's not there at the moment. The holiday comings and goings has left me in dire need to re-organize. You might get a kick out of knowing that our Christmas tree is among that list  of items that are NOT in their designated places. Most of my many, many  christmas decorations have been  packed into their boxes, but the tree remains, with daily delights for our playful kitty to enjoy. I'd love to get the last of the festive decorations put up, as my husband thinks I overdecorate at Christmas, and I know we could use the extra space the tree is filling. Yet I have decided not to stress over this particular goal. All in good time. Ask me in February if the tree is still up. Maybe I will decorate it with hearts!

This shift in thinking is because the Lord is drawing me to a place of greater balance. To a place of positive thinking, and doing away with old habits. The new year is a great time to start. To set goals, step by step, and learn to lean on the Lord to accomplish them.

Our church is participating in a month long time of commitment and seeking the Lord's plans and purposes. People will meet every morning and every night for prayer, and those of us that can't be there at one or both sessions are encouraged to pray at home. Many are fasting... and I must point out that a fast can involve so much more than simply abstaining from food in order to focus on prayer. The first time I participated in a fast, it was during our "year of devastation", during the season of Lent. The Lord led me to give up my greatest temptation: chocolate.  Mainly because I was being tempted to rely on the taste of cocoa to manage some of the stress, rather than on the heart of the Lord to see me through the difficult places.

Today the fast the Lord is calling me to does not involve giving up all food. (Although the intake of some less than nutritious items will be cut back.) I will be fasting from TV and forms of news media. Now, I do consider myself rather out of touch with most of the shows my peers follow. And for the most part, I do try to be careful what I let in to my mind, as far as media goes. I tend to avoid watching the news because it depresses me. But after a long day of diabetes and celiac care, special diets, dispensing meds, assisting with homework, engaging in sensory therapy, and generally overseeing the care of two very active boys, each with "special issues", I tend to want to collapse for a little while, pop in an I Love Lucy re-run, or unwind with a "cleaner than most" movie. This is not a bad thing, sometimes, and part of my journey with the Lord has been to learn that self care and time to relax is something that every caregiver needs.  But when I begin to lean on anything other than the Lord on a consistent basis, I am risking compromising my relationship with Him, and I am most certainly missing out on the blessing that comes when my sustenance is in Him and Him alone.

This first month in a new year represents to me a time to focus on nourishing the heart, the soul and the body. To make sure that my intake physically, emotionally, and spiritually, is "fuel" rather than filler or fluff. Part of this new perspective is a fast from habits that keep me from being filled by the Lord alone.  Part of this new beginning is adding in that which nourishes the soul and body. Beginning with my mind, for how we think directs who we are. As my aunt recently said, "Trash in, trash out." I want to be aware of what messages I am letting in, and especially, how this affects what I believe, and what messages I repeatedly tell myself. The eye is the window to the soul, but the mind is the motivator of the spirit.

My Healer is calling me to greater accountability with scripture memory and prayer time. The old habits, and the old tapes that play in my mind must be replaced with truth from His word if there is to be any real change, any true spiritual growth. I have come to a place in my journey with Him where I spend a great deal of my day talking with Him, seeking Him out. Yes, most days there is an amount of time set aside for Bible study, and prayer is a key part of my response to how He speaks to my heart through His word. But intercessory prayer has been lacking of late. And so has NEW scripture memory. I drew much comfort from scripture on that journey through the fire that would have consumed our family, had it not been for the One who Sustains. Yet, after such a difficult trek, where faith and love were choices I fought to make daily, I grew tired, and the Lord, in His deep love for me, allowed a time of rest as He knit our family back together. But there comes a time when we must stand up and step in to a new beginning.  It is time to dig deep. To grow. To discover new treasures in scripture, new messages from the Lord. A time to clear away the cobwebs and claim the promised place of restoration and healing.

Isaiah 43:10 and 11 is key in my new beginning:

You are my witnesses, declares the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen,That you may know and believe me, And understand that I am He. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no Savior.

Every journey towards lasting change must begin by knowing Him and believing Him. We will not get far apart from Him! I encourage you to join me on the journey towards restoration of spirit, soul, mind, and body. As you ponder your own New Year resolutions, ask the Lord what work He has resolved to cultivate in you. I encourage you to surrender to Him the places He plans to bring wholeness to, and submit to Him the needs He longs to fill in you.  

Growing by Design

To walk in the fullness of His plans and purposes for you this year may require some sorting and sifting. What areas would you like to see changed? What areas would the Lord like to see changed? (Ask Him!) Most of us want to live healthier, fuller lives, and yet, it is so easy to get sidetracked when we are tired, stressed, or over-committed. Our best intentions slide and we can easily end up right back where we started, with not much left but a defeated spirit. Now is the time to set aside perfectionism and spur ourselves to step up and claim what the Lord has in store for us. This may mean a lessening of activity in some places, and an adding of prayer in others. I encourage you to take the fresh start He offers and let Him draw you deeper into relationship with Him. It will be a process, with ups and downs along way, but if you hold fast to Him,  you can be sure that you will be blessed as you seek out a new beginning in Him.  

Hosea 6:3

Let us press on to acknowledge the Lord. He will come to us like the spring rain!

Prayer by Design

Father God, show me what is keeping me from walking in your plan, and your purposes for me. Give me your strength to remove the things that distract me from focusing on you. Teach me how to truly know you, how to be nourished by You. Teach me how to rely on you in the moment, especially when I am feeling overwhelmed. Give me wisdom to believe you and hold fast to your promises, especially when life looks differently than what I want. I ask you to give me a deeper understanding of You and your heart for me. Teach me to trust you, and follow you with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my strength, and especially, all of my mind. Be not just my Savior, but my Lord. I surrender fully to You, and I thank you because you have already equipped me for the journey. I choose You, Lord. I choose You.