Ladies By Design

Be Still

Oh, day of rest, 

How beautiful, how fair!

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Today I long for green- cucumbers and spinach leaves to feed the body, and  slender blades of grass to feed my soul. Oh, to lay in a clover green meadow and breathe in the breeze, the sky, the voice quietly whispering my name. 

What is stopping me? The urge is strong, yet I work, still. I push through to gain a prize whose name I do not know. The whisper beckons me out into mid- morning. Persistently. I stop working and take off shoes and socks, stepping onto  the grassy slope behind our home. 

The ground is cool, as I knew it would be; verdant, and pliable, warming to my touch. I lean back, relaxing, supported by soft spikes. I feel the breeze and hear a gentle song lilt from the shadow of wings. Pages flap and I wonder:  Why is it so hard to be still?

I stay, cloaked in green, while my eyes adjust to the light. In the distance, cars hum, people rushing through busy lives- and still I wonder. When did I forget to let in that which feeds my soul? 

I've been separated from the peace of this place by the whirl of life. While trying to catch my breath, I forgot what it is to breathe deep. 

Sleepless nights and sick kids may deplete the body, but it is this busy-ness that steals true rest. Now, the habit of getting out into creation takes determination and self discipline. So I sit, and I breathe, and I rest.

 A lady bug glides across wildflowers that sprung up in my absence. Clouds silently swirl across a pure blue expanse. They know how to be silent, to keep pace with time peacefully, without hurry. 

When I've been rubbed raw by life's sanding, I realize I am still learning to rest in the One who sustains and holds, comforting me through rough patches. It is equally important to draw apart when days are filled with activity and the good work of life. To make a habit of being filled with living water before I am run dry with thirst.

I now recognize soul-thirst, and so I stay, drinking in the wildness that has swept down this hill. Luxuriating in birdsong and inviting the breeze to dance on my cheeks, twirling my hair, drawing me into radiant goodness. Dandelions sway, fuzzy tops nodding in agreement to be silent before the Creative One.  I drink deep of  beauty and peace until I am satiated with healing wind and soothing grasses.

Grace floods my soul, simply because I obeyed that still quiet voice that beckoned me to the place of wellness.  I am refreshed, washed in gratitude. In awe of the One who crafted greens and blues and softness and joy which restores my soul. This is healing in it's simplest form.

 

 

The Nourished Life

In my life, there always seems to be someone who needs something. And with all the medical issues I deal with, sometimes I feel as if I carry everything alone. Self-care is necessary for survival, as is making a habit of refueling body and soul. Sometimes this means time out with friends to relax and unwind, and sometimes it requires making arrangements to have times of quiet. Rest is mandatory. Nourishment, essential. We take better care of those we love when we take care of ourselves, too.

 

I have to cultivate the habit of stepping away to see that my needs are met. It may seem daunting, but it's necessary. Sometimes I feel isolated, or believe there are no resources. But the truth is there is a way to self care- if I am willing to commit to it, to work towards it. Wellness takes work. It takes planning ahead- and sometimes, a willingness to step into the unknown. To put my needs out there and ask for help. It's risky, and sometimes I don’t want to ask. But the benefits are worth the risk. 

 

Sometimes it's an issue of “want to”. What keeps me from drawing aside, what do I gain from over-working? Does it help me forget? Does it make me feel better about everything that seems wrong in my life?

 

Everything I commit to fills a need in me. The need to be a good wife and mother. The need to feel valued, like my work matters. Do I deny my needs because I have to be a martyr to feel acceptable? Do I believe that I do not have the right to take care of me, too?

 

It’s time to give permission to have needs. To take care of me- in a healthy way. Chocolate cake may taste good for a moment, but it won’t heal the gash in my soul, nor will it placate the troubles in my heart.

 

Exercise, movement, is healing. I walk and pour out, and sometimes I want to run. I don’t do it well (or for very long), but I need the physical reminder of what I am carrying emotionally. I run, a block, maybe two, and at the bottom of the hill my chest heaves and I sputter and breathe jagged breaths and it feels like my life. I have to train for the long haul and I have to rest before I am spent. 

 

Jesus did said to serve others, just as He did. And He served with His whole heart- but he also set the example of drawing apart regularly and seeking rest. If we want be like Jesus, we have to balance pouring out and finding rest.

 

Isaiah 55:2 says:

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

The Message puts it this way: “Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words. I’m making a lasting covenant with you, the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.”

 

We have to make time to let God’s love wash over us, healing, restoring, giving rest in spirit, soul, and body. Don’t take this for granted. We need fuel not filler. We need to pursue that which nourishes, that which truly fills. We can chase after what leaves us empty, running on fumes- or we can plan time to rest and recover. Self control is not only self denial.  Self control is seeking that which gives lasting nourishment- in spirit, soul and body. It’s making time to find daily abundance in the heart of God.

 

 

Holiday Nostalgia

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. It's not just the lights and the presents, or even the wonderful stories of God's love for us. To me, Christmas means family, togetherness, love.

Growing up, Christmas was the ultimate gathering time for my family. When I close my eyes I can still see my large extended family gathering in my grandparents’ home. The front rooms were filled with family and friends, while children and teens spilled outside into the yard. Grandaddy would be hovering over the stove, with an uncle or two pitching in. Granny would make many sweets, often inviting the grandkids to help. Her health problems never kept her from making the most of the season. She’d spend months preparing; sewing projects piled high in her craft room. Special gifts were made over time for those she loved, but she enjoyed the seasonal shopping, too. Aunts and cousins helped her wrap each present with loving care, and on Christmas Eve those of us who were old enough got a special job: filling stockings with goodies-- for adults and children alike.

Sewing Ladies

I have always been surrounded by ladies who were passionate about sewing, crafting, quilting, and more. Twenty years ago I tried to master my little pink sewing machine but we didn't get along. I managed to produce a few 4H projects but in my heart I wanted to be riding bikes with the boys. Being girly just didn't seem to be as exciting and pink wasn't really my color.

Interestingly, Ladies By Design has turned into a gathering of girly on Thursday nights in Midlothian, Texas. It all started when Aunt Betty decided to restore and bling jean jackets. Ironically the jacket we rescued is accented with fuchsia. Yes, pink! Then Aunt Betty remembered a few vintage apron patterns tucked away in her sewing stash. Suddenly we had a gathering of women at her home with a desire to sew aprons...including me.

As it turns out, aprons are very popular. I had no idea how popular. Of course, the movie Julie & Julia certainly gave aprons a boost along with sophisticated cooking programs. By the time we learn how to piece together our aprons they may be out of style. But it's my hope that all things ladylike stay in style for good. For now we are just having fun gathering. I love it when one of us is baffled (like Traci was in this picture). It's not long before a more experienced lady has a solution. Corporate America calls it collaboration. We just call it sisterhood.

Our sewing comes second to laughing. Peggy and I have shared our horror stories when it comes to learning not so much what to do as what not to do. For example, when cutting a pattern "Don't cut outside of the black line!" And Peggy is an expert in ripping out seams. Her daughter, Janine, is passionate about sewing. She is a sixteen year old crafting genius. Part of the joy in gathering comes from sharing our lives from generation to generation. I am thrilled that Janine has far more confidence in her crafting abilities than I did at her age. I love being able to encourage her to stay true to what she loves and resist giving up like I once did.

Living as Ladies By Design is a challenge to embrace what may appear uncomfortable. For me it was easier to hang out with the guys. I still enjoy being a tomboy and getting dirty. Hanging out with the ladies was a scary and perplexing thought. That is until I gave it a try. I would have never thought I of all people would be a part of a sewing gathering but here I am. To top it all off, my mom was quite shocked when I called to tell her I was wearing hot pink nail polish. My how things change but that is living as Ladies By Design! I dare you to be open to change and be open to the ladies in your life if you aren't already. Keep an eye out for those around you who may feel uncomfortable hanging out with the gals. I'd bet that deep in their hearts they long for female companions as I once did. If you are in the South Dallas area and would like to sew with us please consider yourself invited! As you can see, you are welcome to come as comfy as you like...house slippers and all!

 

Prodigal Ladies

It's funny how the road curves and bends along this journey called life. Last night I found myself sitting on the floor between my husband and my brother at a worship concert. The band was taking a break and a young man had taken the stage to share the story about a song he had written. He was a great looking guy and one that any girl would have been proud to stand by. Of course, he hadn't always looked that way. He was every inch the prodigal son. Something he said while describing the dungeon of a life he lived caused me to remember what my life was once like. 

Remembered moments used to catapult me into places of deep grief. I am happy to say that these days I remember those days without the pain. It is truly a miracle to be able to look back at the girl I was and the things I said and did—without shame, blame, or guilt. I was broken as so many of us gals have been and still are.

Flawed and imperfect we are. Yet, lovely and full of life we are. In my darkest times my aunt would say "As long as you are breathing there is still hope." Yes, hope. The thing is, if you are like me, you may have a tendency to alienate yourself from the very people you need in hopeless times. Alone, I would be taunted again and again by dark voices saying "You are hopeless" and I believed it.

The turning point for me came at my breaking point. I could not fall any further. I bankrupted myself in every imaginable way. And then came freedom when I surrendered. I finally understood that I could never ever put all of my pieces back together. I could never fix all that had gone wrong. But that wasn't the end of the story.

Love found me and loved me just where I was. Love loved me just as I was. Over time, and through the love of a few loving ones I learned that Love was, Love Is, and Love is to come. I've come a long way along this journey. Last night, I couldn't help but look over at my brother and smile in awe because he too has learned that Love was, Love Is, and Love is to come. We used to hate one another now we have both been changed by Love.

Later in the evening I was compelled to search for a long lost friend of mine. As you can see in the picture above we were two goofy gals who loved each other very much. We also hurt each other very much. Such is the nature of our human hearts in the absence of true Love. Over the years I've tried finding her to no avail until last night—a very special night—I finally found her. I was hesitant because I knew she would remember the girl I was. I was afraid because she had good reason to reject the girl I was. Despite my fears in hope I reached out.

You see, living in hiding is no way to live. To be sure, there are "friends" that we need to release. If a person is hurtful to you or toxic to be around, it is okay to say goodbye. That being said, if you find yourself hiding from your past, I encourage you to find a safe place, a safe gathering, a safe friend that cares about you and will help you to be revealed to the world once again as the beautiful person you are. Every so often I would worry about what someone would say if they found me. Would they ridicule the lady I have become? Would their memories disqualify me from the life I now have? If you wonder the same thing, let me assure you that Someone greater will defend your honor and be the champion of your heart. I could have been rejected by my friend but I wasn't. She loved me then and loves me now because we are both flawed and imperfect and yet lovely and full of life. We are—all of us—prodigal ladies and loved.

 

Gathering Family

I don't know what it is that intimidates me when it comes to writing for Ladies By Design. I've been in the habit of posting on my personal blog. I think it has to do with the word "ladies." Every so often I am reminded of the person I was. She, I mean, I wasn't very lady-like. There are some days I wonder if someone will post some scary memory of that crazy girl on my Facebook page. I'm still crazy according to my husband but this new me doesn't hurt others like the old me did. 

A few years ago I was reckless in my pursuit for love. To be known and accepted and approved was my only goal. Although not many would know that because I went about achieving my goal in the worst possible ways. After many years of running away from myself I finally gave up and returned to the One who had always known, accepted, and approved me. Life has been very different for me ever since.

One area of my life that hadn't changed much was the part that included others. I no longer hurt people with my reckless ways, yet, I continued the struggle—some call the dance—of seeking and avoiding intimacy with others. With the One that loved me I was secure. It was the others that I wasn't so sure of.

Those others included my husband, my brother, my parents, and of course, others. I pretty much stayed close to the person I knew would never hurt me. She had survived being hurt by me in the past relatively unscathed. So, I figured she was indestructible enough to survive being around me in the future.

I entered into the service of my pastors and applied all of my excellence toward "building the church" until one day I found myself at a ladies retreat. At the retreat all the ladies were given a card upon which other ladies would write kind words of affirmation. After the soft music had ended and all of the tears had been shed I feigned being happy at the words written on my card. Most of them had to do with my gift of excellence, order, and administration for our church. Very little was written about an impact I had made on any of the ladies as a friend.

Despite all of my achievements, my heart was unsettled because I realized being an achiever of excellence also allowed me to hide from the natural joys and sorrows of personal relationships. I found myself known, accepted, and approved but terribly alone. In the year to come I went through many changes that I never thought possible. I left the administration office of the church to go back to school full time. In doing so, I have had more time to be around my husband, my brother, and others. In giving up what I loved, or thought I loved, I ended up receiving much more than I could have ever imagined. My husband and I have rediscovered our love and respect for one another. My brother and I actually enjoy being siblings. For the first time in my life I have more girlfriends than I can count on two hands.

To be sure, I am not saying everyone needs to quite their job to be a lady. That has been my path. Who knows, but the One who loves you, what your path will be. My point is this: if you aren't already, make time for gathering as ladies by design. The others around you are depending on you. They want to join a gathering only you can create.

My brother has been living with my husband and I for one year and four months. For the first year I harassed and nagged my husband to spend time with my brother and vice versa. Finally I shut up and got in the game. I began gathering our family together as only I could do. It is a feminine art. I cooked dinners for us to enjoy together. I initiated taking communion as a family. I asked our Aunt Betty to have us over more frequently. Then her daughter-in-law suddenly asked us to start having family nights once a week.

The other day I was getting ready and overheard my husband and my brother making plans together. It was a simple moment but one I hope never to forget. In that moment I knew the tide had turned. The floodgates have opened and relationships are flowing like never before. I must say it wasn't easy. We've had some fights and colorful rounds of cussing along the way. Family makes a person want to pull their hair out. Yet, I believe this world was created with family in mind from Adam and Eve to the Man who was born into a family to redeem it.

It seems it wasn't as hard to write for Ladies By Design as I thought. When we doubt we are ladies we must remember to look to those around us. Are the people around us healthy? Are they seeking the good things of this world? If so, chances are you are a lady. If they aren't, perhaps it's time for you to reclaim the role you were created for. No longer do we gather nuts and berries for the survival of others. We have the greatest opportunity for gathering the world has ever experienced with the internet, Facebook, mobile phones, email, and so much more to come. I dare you to reach out to the others around you as the lady that you are. The ones who may be causing you grief at this very moment. The ones you don't quite understand. I think you'll with a little time, hard work, and tenderness you will be trading your sorrow for joy!

 

Fort Worth Fun

Anyone who knows me will adamantly agree that I am not the poster-child for fun. I say that with a huge smile on my face. While I certainly know how to unwind in front of our monster-man-sized flat screen television, I am also happier when I have my laptop open at the same time. I love to work. Of course what seems like work to others is really fun to me. In the last few months I've discovered the Adobe Creative Suite and have delved into the world of design, albeit as an amateur. It is fun for me to discover and create. All the same, for those around me, my attentions and affections have become strained to say the least. Thankfully, this past weekend I found myself awakening to the world around me and found it to be very fun much to the delight of my loved ones and my own ladylike heart.

Recently my cousin, Poki'i, moved from Honolulu, Hawaii to Lawton, Oklahoma. Yes, she has made quite a change. Needing some family time, she drove three hours south for a brief stay with me and my brother, Kainoa. My husband was on a camping trip (he's the fun one in this gig) and so I was the official tour-guide for the day. We planned on leaving at ten o'clock in the morning. I confess that I didn't mind a bit when I awoke to find the house still quiet. Gleefully I opened my laptop to make just one more change to a project which of course led to another and another. Two hours later Kainoa asked me why I wasn't ready. Innocently I said, "You guys were still sleeping" to which he relied "Yeah right!" Yes, I'd been caught red-handed.

Around noon, we were finally on our way to downtown Fort Worth, specifically the Water Gardens. It was a beautiful, albeit windy, afternoon just perfect for scouting the park. I can't believe it took me five years to get out and about this amazing metroplex. We had smoothies from Jamba Juice and checked out a museum with beautiful western landscapes painted by Sid Richardson in Sundance Square. We admire the architecture of the Bass Symphony Hall and it's trumpeting angels. We roamed through artsy stores and browsed a store called the Schakolad Chocolate Factory.

As the afternoon waned on I suggested returning home to "rest" before going to our aunt's house for a barbecue. Poki'i scoffed at the idea of our needing to rest and I had to admit it was a ridiculous notion given I am only in my thirties. We were soon off to see more sights at the Dallas Farmers Market. We sampled fresh fruits and a delicious lavender flavored sorbet, homemade of course. We found corn to roast later in the day and sampled poundcake and rich gourmet cheeses. It was a delicious day.

 
We ended up reclining under the arbor at our aunt's house. My husband had returned from camping and brought our good friend Eric along for some grub. Aunt Betty and Uncle Mike mastered the grill and later we all gathered around the fire to toast s'mores. It was a good day filled with fun and laughter. It was a great day because I made time for the ones I love. Don't we all find ourselves making the time to take our out-of-town guests around town? What about the rest of the time? While driving around I realized that I hadn't once taken Kainoa to see the sights even though he'd been with us for nearly a year and a half! That's just horrible. The plain and simple truth is that I haven't been gathering those around me as I know I want to. I had settled into the humdrum routine of life.

Living as Ladies By Design involves gathering our families and friends around us. How else can we grow but through relationship? Sure we can enjoy our work and routines are necessary. However, I have found that making time for fun, even if it's just a walk through the neighborhood, can add so much value to my life and those around me. So, who is around you? A husband, a brother, a cousin? Have you made time for them? Have you gotten out of your box lately? I've included links so that if you are in the DFW area, perhaps you may be inspired to get out and about. Wherever you are I challenge you to get out there. Be sure to visit us on your return and share your stories. Go on, have some fun as Ladies By Design!

 
 

Wal-Mart Ladies: Sandy

Ladies, have you ever been at Wal-Mart late at night to grab a few forgotten items? You know, the items that somehow just don't make it to your shopping list. Well, after a nice visit with my aunt and a few other friends, I stopped by the Wal-Mart in Midlothian, Texas as I figured the store was brand new and a tad nicer than the one close to home. Little did I know I would be greeted by a lovely lady for my trouble.

Don't you just love how Wal-Mart positions its departments perfectly? Of course the grocery items are an acre away from the ladies items. After grabbing all of the basics: milk, juice, yogurt, etc. I made my way to find my favorite Clairol Nice and Easy color, and yes I dye my hair! It's a lovely shade of black and true to my natural color, so there! I digress, that's not why you are here. Who knows what else I grabbed, and yes it was in my Dave Ramsey budget. You see what going to Wal-Mart late at night does to you?

I was finally in line and of course it was stacked up the aisle. Everyone seemed to be planning for the end of the world with dozens of cans of soup and soda liters. I mean, my goodness who shops like this late at night, beside myself of course. I had eleven items and of course my blameless self didn't sneak into the ten or less item lane. Oh, no what if I was found out? So, I waited patiently until I noticed how slow the cashier's hands were moving. I mean my goodness! Looking away I affirmed my patience, after all, Ladies By Design are patient. However, after reviewing my items I realized that the Minute Maid Limeade was filled to the brim with less than natural substances and so I decided not to get it. At that point I started to lose my self-affirmed patience because suddenly I realized that I had ten items and I could have been outta there fifteen minutes ago!

Nevertheless, I stayed where I was and waited another lifetime. The manager even passed by and I was so tempted to complain but I knew I was just tired and cranky. The cashier was moving slow but she probably had a really hard and long day. I know because my mom used to work at Wal-Mart. It could get pretty rough at times.

Once I was free to leave I saw another obstacle to maneuver: the greeter. Seriously, that was my mindset. She was an obstacle. As she took my receipt to check, she mentioned it being a long day or something. Of course, I wasn't really listening because all I wanted to do was get home. Not very ladylike huh! However, something she said sounded like a cue to complain. I didn't mean to. I had set my mind against it and yet like a flood the words came out, "Yeah, and you know I can't believe how slow the cashier was, I mean..." Yes, I know..."blah, blah, blah."

Suddenly, I heard her say, "Did you hear me?" Embarrassed, I stopped talking over her and said "I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well." I had heard her but I'd just been too busy voicing my complaints. She had mentioned that she had a terrible pain in her chest that she was worried about. I finally remembered who I was and we chatted for awhile. I found out that her name was Sandy and that she was so grateful for her job at Wal-Mart. It helps her to support her and her boyfriend. I also learned that she had a doctor's appointment coming up.

I asked if I could give her a hug and offered to pray for her. Ironically, upon exiting the parking lot I made a wrong turn and had to return into the parking lot for the right exit. Just as I drove back onto the Wal-Mart pavement, I head a small whisper say, "You said you would pray for her." And so I did, right there in my car: heartfelt words and tears flowed out of my heart for Sandy. I'd not prayed like that all week. Sometimes it takes getting out of your comfort zone to get into your heart and so I'd like to invite you to pray for Sandy, if you feel to do so, and find someone that you can connect to, even a stranger, and even if in just a small way.

I can't tell you how grateful I was to Sandy at that moment. She helped me to "see" her and to look out of my own life and into the heart of another. It occurred to me that Sandy was a lady and that I had learned a lesson from her. Each person that passed us by was greeted warmly and authentically by her. Sure it's her job but it's also a choice. In sharing this story, I hope that you too will be challenged to truly "see" people, to appreciate them. Gathering the smiles, thoughts, and hopes of Ladies By Design is a choice. One we make daily. So, who have you "seen" lately living as Ladies By Design? The comment lines are open, come on and share a story!

 

An Artist: Marilynn K. Howe

In grade-school I ought to have learned that I am supposed to have one favorite color, one favorite meal and one favorite hobby. I have never been able to accommodate the status quo.

I've never really been normal: whatever that is. Sometimes normal looked like blond hair, a demure attitude or a knack for catching the ball. No matter how hard I have tried: I have been a circle who never was able to fill the corners of a square.

In high-school, I didn't associate myself with one click. I roamed the landscape appreciating the spectrum of society. I am the same even now.

In a sense, Ladies By Design is an extension of the explorer I am. My mom says that I am related to the discoverers Lewis and Clark. I sense their spirit in my blood. From my Hawaiian father I inherited the mantle of an intercessor and the gift of prophecy. From both sides of my family I have acquired a love for art and all things creative.

I have learned that there is a difference in inheriting and acquiring versus embracing and operating in attributes. While I am still learning who I am: my first step towards realizing my full destiny begins with embracing myself.

Hundreds of years ago, Polynesian voyagers carried "way-finders" aboard to navigate the skies and seas from island to island. When the stars were hidden behind the cover of clouds, the way-finder would apply their entire being towards centering their body, soul and spirit. With a powerful focus, the way-finder could pinpoint the canoe's position amid the tempestuous sea. As it turns out, the waters of the deep are not simply random and chaotic. The deep oceans of the world are actually composed of ordered, rhythmic movements.

I must warn you, the stories I have to tell are real. They are at times righteous and effecting. Other times you may be shocked by my honesty. Nevertheless, more important than eliciting an emotional response from my readers, it is my desire to live a life that causes those in contact with me to yearn for the deep immensity of the love of God. Sometimes we glance at the lives of those around us and only see the chaotic swirl of humanity. I promise to open my heart wide for you. In turn, I challenge you to be adventurous and open your heart to another. Live deep and free in the vastness of a true and real love.

It is wrapped in the embrace of the Free Spirit that I know that I am that I am. I am a woman of power. I dance before the Lord. I am a rejoicing, pleasing creation.  I love with the heart of a Lion. I am feasting on all that He has for me. I am a preaching, healing, capable, loving and honest woman. I am a woman after God's own heart.

I haven't told you who my husband is, where I work or what my favorite color is: Have you been able to learn a little about me anyway? I hope so. Until we meet again, may you create a life worth living asLadies By Design!

 

A Mother: Betty Clouse

The "Road of Life" has led me in many different directions with varying destinations.  Who would have ever imagined I would end up "at my age" in the Dallas, Texas area.  I chose to leave Texas many years ago headed for adventure in the great "Golden State" of California.  I remember writing a paper in an English class about what California had done for me.  I specifically said that California had been an "education" for me.  Living in California certainly was an education in many ways.  I was forced to be in an environment far from home and I was stretched in every possible way.  

California taught me the value of becoming a different person.  Now granted, some of us are very slow learners.  I would hope it never takes anyone who may read this as long as it took me to learn the lessons of life.  I learned that there was a huge world beyond the world surrounding the "Little Country Girl" from Bay City, Texas.  I learned there was a place where people didn't judge by their color and you were accepted for who you were.  At least it appeared to be such.  My mind was opened and the world was mine.  I just didn't have the ability to reach for the stars.  I didn't have the "tools of the trade."  God was continually working on me. 

I have struggled and continue to struggle with my plot in life of being where I am at the age I am.  I am always reminded of the scripture in Joel 2:25 "Then He will make up to me for the years that theswarming locust has eaten, The creeping locust, the stripping locust, and the gnawing locust....And I shall have plenty to eat and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord my God, who has dealt wondrously with me; Then I will never be put to shame.  Thus I will know that You are The Lord my God and there is no other."  I have inserted the first person to make it personal to me.  This scripture is totally about restoration and God is continually restoring me.

The title that has been captioned above my picture "The Mother", seems totally inappropriate as I have never given birth to a biological child.  But, just a little over two years ago as I was feeling so totally devastated after a Wednesday night Bible study  on "The Root of Bitterness", I was made aware I needed to forgive God for not giving me the opportunity to birth a child in the natural.  As a very good friend of mine led me into a time of inner-healing, my FATHER spoke to me and told me he had reserved me to be a "mother to many."  What did that mean?   You may ask how?  At the time I wasn't sure I could "Find the Value" in those words.

Now looking back over the last four years of my life, in many ways I have become!  I find it very interesting how just about everyone in my church  and even as far away as Zimbabwe calls me Aunt Betty. Just recently I had a newcomer to our congregation tell me "I am going to call you Aunt Betty" and another one "You are my only Aunt Betty."  I have one very dear man who calls me "Mama Betty." A couple of years ago as I was abou to leave Zimbabwe, several young girls told me "you have grandchildren in Africa."  How awesome is that?  As I reach out to my world here in my geographical area to be a mentor, aunt or mom, and me being a part of  "Ladies by Design", I do pray you will feel my love and prayers reaching your heart as you read our ministry to quite literally the world.  My prayer has been for years, "God I want to make a difference." I choose to believe I will be making a difference in your life as God moves my pen with inspiration as I write from my heart.  Stay tuned there are VOLUMES to come.