As a writer, I find that words have a particular fascination for me. I love that one word in a sentence can be altered, or tweaked just a bit, and a completely different meaning can be created. For example, in church circles many people will say, "I'm waiting on the Lord," for this thing or that event, and we are often taught to wait on Him to provide. His timing is perfect, after all. Yet I am learning that there is difference in waiting on the Lord , and waiting in Him.
I personally am not always good at waiting. This may not be what the person sharing intended, but the description of waiting on God at times conjures in my mind images of situations such as waiting for my ten year old to get out of the shower (he'd run the hot water 'til it ran out if I'd let him.) Or waiting in a long checkout line. Or, waiting on the phone for a real person to pick up, while I press 1 for the department I need, four or five times... After trying to circumvent the system by pressing "0" (think Operator) only to be told "your selection is invalid" and sent back to the beginning menu to start the process all over again. Ugh. There I stand, hands on hips, foot tapping impatiently waiting for the outcome. Filled with anxiety, annoyance, and irritation.
Dictionary.com (one of my favorite sites) lists the definition of impatience as an inability or unwillingness to wait. Thesaurus.com lists some of the synonyms of "impatience" which I am sure we have all experienced during some waiting period or another: agitation, anger, annoyance, anxiety, disquietude, edginess, fretfulness, hastiness, impetuosity, intolerance, irritability, nervousness, quick temper, rashness, restlessness, shortness, snappiness, suspense, uneasiness, vehemence, and "ants in the pants". These words bring images of discomfort and "disquietude", indeed. My heart rate speeds up just reading them.
Now tweak the sentence a bit, and instead let's talk about waiting in the Lord. Immediately the tapping feet disappear. I take deep, calming breaths. Instead of standing restlessly, I picture myself peaceful, resting, completely encircled by Him. Protected. Secure. Covered in His will, in His timing, and, especially, in His love. And in His love I find the antonyms of impatience: ease, endurance, forbearance, patience, tolerance, waiting, and most of all, willingness.
Willingness to trust, willingness to wait for His plan, His purposes, His timing. Willingness to believe that He has something better for me, that His plans are for Hope, for life, and for my future security. Take a look at these versions of Jeremiah 29:11 from the New American Standard Bible: 'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity, plans to give you a future and a hope.
Now, here's the same verse from The Message Bible: "This is God's Word on the subject:"... /As soon as His timing is complete/"...and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."
The Holman Christian Standard Bible says that The Lord declares --, He does not merely say this, He does not merely speak, but His declaration, His promise, is that He knows the plans He has for us. The Amplified Version speaks of the Lord giving us hope in our "final outcome."
The New Living Translation puts it this way: For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
So here is the question, so aptly put by Stasi Eldredge in Captivating, Unveiling the Mysteries of A Woman's Soul: Will we choose to trust in the heart of God towards us? Will we choose to believe that His plans are for our welfare and that His plans are to take care of us, to give us exactly what we need (although not always exactly what we want.) Will we choose to believe that He acts in love towards us... always. No exceptions. That when we are asked to wait, to surrender, it is always because He longs to give us something better, something more. Will we believe Him?
Not that this belief exempts us from the difficulties in life. We do, after all, live in a fallen world. We deal with devastating losses and heart wrenching seasons. I've been there. Recently. And our family is still recovering. One truth that the Lord has taught me through all of our struggles and all of our losses, is that when I am at a difficult place in my journey, I must be sure that I am really, in the moment of devastation, truly believing He will take care of me.
I have often been confronted with the question: "What am I believing-- about God, about life, about myself and the others involved, and why am I believing this?" In other words, "Do my actions--or my anxieties-- match up with my faith?" Difficult questions in dark moments, especially when these moments drag on into dark days, weeks, and months. (And years.)
So what are the meanings that are associated with difficult experiences? "This is hard... This is not what I had planned... I don't want to go through this." Or, "I can't do this!" Which, often, is the point. We can't. That's why we need Him to do it in and through us.
So then, we have a choice. We can hold onto the "cant's" or we can hold onto Him. We can change the meanings we associate with our circumstances. Like the difference between "Waiting on the Lord" and Waiting in Him. We can change how we interpret our situation. We can tweak our attitudes, check our understanding of God's character. This does not mean that we gloss over the very real difficulties some seasons bring. But we can look the hard truth of reality in the face, and yet choose hope. We can seek the Lord's perspective, accept the chance to grow beyond where we are now, and we can choose to step into alignment with the purposes and meanings He has designed for us.
Growing by Design:
When I face difficult situations, I have learned the value of speaking the truth out loud to remind my own ears that the Lord is trustworthy, no matter what chaos I am entrenched in at the moment.
The Truth is that He will give us hope and life... not just everlasting life in heaven but purposeful, meaningful life here on earth. When we become willing to let go of all that we are clinging to and turn to Him, He will never fail to give us more; more love, more strength, more contentment, and most of all, more of Himself. He knows what He's doing. You can trust Him. Draw near to His heart and wait in Him. He gives us all that we need, if we only ask. He gives us Himself.
Prayer by Design:
Holy God, I pray that you will bring healing to my heart, my soul, my spirit, and my mind. Teach me to trust in Your heart towards me, today, this moment. I surrender my burdens to you. (Pour them out to Him now.) Lord I lay _______________ on the alter before you now. I pray that you will carry not just my burdens, but me. Teach me to discipline my thoughts and attitudes. I choose to trust You.
